Reflection

Everything from My Identity, Major, Dream and Aspirations, Thoughts and Emotions

My Family: From left to right-  Dad, Mom, Myself and Sister

If someone were to ask me what is part of my identity the one thing that comes to mind is my family. Everything I am, how I think, my beliefs, and who I am loyal too is my family. They play such a big role in my life and helping me pursue my dreams and aspirations. Without them I cannot say that I would not be be where I am it might have just taken me longer to get here or other methods. I have been very lucky to have a stable upbringing. Not perfect but perfect enough. I have been raised with the value of education instilled in me from a very young age and the importance it holds. My dad always told me "You shouldn't get good grades for the fear of what I will think but for yourself". My parents always told my sister and me that if we did not want to get an education and work two or three jobs it was our life. This did not mean they let us do what we wanted and get away with things. At the age of 22, I am thankful for every time my parents grounded me or lectured me. Before I thought they were being mean or unfair but it was their way of showing they cared about my sister and me. 

My sister and I

I see so many other people my age, or friends or even family who have no clue where they are going, who they are or where they are. They contributed greatly to me finding how to live a self authored lifestyle where I have been able to reflect and analyze my experiences with them to form my own meanings. My parents and family have been very supportive of my dreams and aspirations and never did anything to hinder my dream of being a teacher. 

As I mentioned in a previous post, I  have always wanted to be a teacher but there was a time in my life were I started to doubt myself. This was around 18 were I thought my life's aspirations were a home, husband and a nice house. I felt that being a teacher was not going to get me those things in life so when I applied applied to college I did not chose teaching as my intended major but business. In my mind a business degree meant more opportunities which equal more money. Reflecting on it now I have no clue what I was thinking as I was raised better than to think money equal happiness. My mom left her nice comfortable life for a middle class life she loved while she had siblings who were way better off but divorced or unhappy. With the path I was going down I would have never known what it would have been like to live a self authored life as I did not let experiences guide my future but greed.

My parents were upset because they knew I was making a mistake but they sat and let me learn. After a year and a half as a business major I was absolutely miserable. As I talked about in the well-being competency my anxiety was out of control. I was constantly stressed and felt so unhappy. My parents saw this and decided to have a talk with me. My dad was very straight forward and pretty much said if I was this stressed about business classes imagine how stressed I would be having that as my career. This was very eye opening for me and the next day I dropped my classes that were business related and switched my major back to education...I choice I will never regret.

While I always had these aspirations and goals they did shift for a while but I am glad that I was able to learn from my mistakes. I know my mistakes taught me a lot about myself and how to handle my anxieties better, all in the quest for living a self authored life. My aspirations and goals currently are to finish school, live happily and healthy, and contribute to my community. This gives me great satisfaction and joy knowing that this is how I am able to make a difference for those around my life and my community. Recently I have been doing an internship with a Level 1 school in Fairfax that has reiterated even more why I want to be a teacher. I was very nervous when I started as I was not going in to be a substitute or do a field experience but to tutor 1st and 2nd grader. I felt such a big responsibility with the task given to me. Not in a way where I was not sure what I was doing but more one out of excitement and joy of being able to help. 

Second Grade Class- Pictured Authorized

I am with a group of kids that are in a lower level that they need to be when it comes to their readings list. I have a set amount of time with every student which can be frustrating but one of the challenges presented to every teacher across the world. After working for several weeks with the students I am tutoring they are starting to catch up. My proudest moment and most rewarding was when one of my students I am tutoring said to me "Ms. Velez I finally get how to read a work out if I do not get it". Now she used the strategy I taught her to use for all her other words she is learning and is picking up fast. 

It is the little things like that that make me want to continue to pursue my dreams of teaching. Often teaching does not seem like the most rewarding job and truly it is not a glamorous life. When I have students who tell me they have "never had a Spanish teacher" like me I know I am being a role model for them, even if it is only one person. Like I had my teacher, Coach Pond inspire me over 15 years ago I hope to make a contribution to their education like she did to mine. The more I learn about my career the more I value all my teachers and professors who truly ever showed they cared about my success. I have had teacher who I could tell were only there for the paycheck and it makes me really sad to think about how they were allowed to educate. 

My time in New Century College I have embraced the meaning of integrative studies and experiential learning. As a future educator I plan to use the method of experiential learning with my future students as it gives the best results for students actually coming out with something learned. I have taken away from NCC is that if an experience does not lead to something meaningful what is the point? Many times as a student I never had any meaningful experiences when I was taught something. This is something I would like to give my student through activities like I have done in NCC that allowed me to use my competencies and cooperative learning. This helped connect to a deeper level with what my task at hand was. I can honestly say since incorporating EL and cooperative learning I have enjoyed my classes and gotten meaning out of them. These are skills that I will take with my even when I handle other experiences as I have learned the world is my classroom.

Beyond teaching I do have other aspirations, one of them is traveling. I have been thinking of doing a study abroad program even thought it would delay my graduation. Even though my counselors say it is not a good idea I think the experience would be one I would never forget. I have never lived anywhere else but Northern Virginia for a long period of time so I would love to have that experience. I have also considered doing a week long trip to one of the many places George Mason offers during breaks. To me it is very important I travel and get to experience first hand other cultures and customs. I feel I am so fortunate to live in America where I am exposed to so many different people. They inspire me to want to get to know their cultures and customs and learn their ways. This really resonates with me as a students at GMU that is full of diversity.

Currently as the semester ends my thoughts and emotions are very positive. I have recently learned I got accepted to be a Teacher Assistant for Kindergarten for Fairfax County Schools which gives me great joy as it is one step closer to my dream of teaching. I hope I can truly enjoy this opportunity and convey my passion to the students I will be with. As the semester ends, I reflect upon my classes and see that I truly enjoyed all of them. I was able to use most if not all the competencies and actually learned and retained all the information given to me. This is probably the first time in my college career where I was given the opportunity to collaboratively learn with my peers and form meanings to my experiences. I am feeling thankful for the opportunities presenting themselves and for all those who have helped me along the way. I am especially thankful for having such a wonderful semester.

This has all contributed to me currently feeling like I am living the definition of a self authored life. I know who I am, I know where I am, and I know where I going. Most importantly I know who to turn to and what to turn to when I ever feel doubt. All aspects of my life are circling smoothly and I am very thankful for this. The one class that has greatly contributed to this has been my Integrative Studies class. This class has had the most benefit for me as it allowed me to question and push myself in way that only helped me improve. It is great to have a professor who has high expectation of you not because he is trying to be mean. He pushed us because he knows we are capable of doing quality work. This was sometimes stressful but like at the end of the day with my parents who I thanked for pushing me, I can say I am thankful my professor, Al pushed us and wanted us to actually find meaning to his class. 

I hope to revisit this blog at the end of my undergraduate degree and throughout my college education when I need to refocus or remind myself where I have been and my aspirations and goals. Hopefully someone will stumble upon this blog one day if they ever feel they are lost and realize it is okay to question yourself or "take" the wrong turn. As long as we learn from our experiences and use them to improve on our lives and those of others.


Katerine Velez